
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6615106.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, F/F, F/M
  Fandom:
      Sherlock_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Sherlock_Holmes/Jim_Moriarty, Sherlock_Holmes/John_Watson, Sherlock
      Holmes/Jim_Moriarty/John_Watson
  Character:
      Sherlock_Holmes, Jim_Moriarty, John_Watson, Charlotte_Willoughby, Greg
      Lestrade, Sally_Donovan, Molly_Hooper
  Additional Tags:
      Unresolved_Sexual_Tension, Sexual_Experimentation, Gay_Sex, Sexual
      Frustration, Sexual_Fantasy, Awkward_Sexual_Situations, Consensual
      Underage_Sex, Underage_Drug_Use, Sherlock_Holmes_and_Drug_Use, Drugs,
      References_to_Drugs, Secret_Relationship, Possessive_Moriarty, Possessive
      John, Cheating_Sherlock, Polyamory, Threats_of_Violence, Blow_Jobs, Semi-
      Public_Sex, Past_Child_Abuse, Therapy, Anxiety, Texting, Sexting,
      Stranger_Sex, One_Night_Stands, Arguing, Punching, Minor_Violence, Sugar
      Daddy, Johnlock_-_Freeform, Doggy_Style, Cunnilingus, Oral_Sex,
      Possessive_Sherlock, Anal_Sex, Sexual_Coercion, Handcuffs, BDSM,
      Threesome_-_M/M/M, Sherlock_Holmes_-_Freeform, POV_John_Watson, Stalker
      Jim_Moriarty, Eating_Disorders, Bulimia, Anorexia
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-04-21 Updated: 2018-03-11 Chapters: 24/? Words: 12481
****** The private life of Sherlock Holmes ******
by DollyBird_(Milly69)
Summary
     Sherlock and John are investigating a case when Moriarty visits and
     raises questions in John's mind about Sherlock's ability to love one
     person faithfully.
     Just how far does Sherlock go to 'investigate'? Does this affect his
     ability to love John?
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Summary
     Moriarty causes a rift between Sherlock and John.
Sherlock carressed his whip. He brought it down hard onto the corpse once,
twice, three times with such ferocity it frightened me.
'Sherlock?' I shouted over the noise.
Thwack thwack thwack.
'Sherlock? Jim's here. He says he wants...'
Silence.
I cleared my throat and gulped.
Sherlock was still for a moment before he turned to face us.
'Hello, darling Sherlock. Is that a stolen 19th century whip in your hand?'
Sherlock smirked. He walked to the armchair by the roaring fire. He had taken
to snorting cocaine and I wondered if he would do a line now in front of
Moriarty.
'So...'
'So...' Jim watched Sherlock intently. His eyes moved to his trousers as he got
up and paced the room.
'John and I have an appointment at 6 sharp.'
'Ooh, table for two? So romantic!'
I couldn't help smiling at how wrong he was.
'No. A case. Please hurry.'
The clock chimed 5.30pm. Sherlock began to pace again.
'Well, well, well. You two lover boys have got yourself in murky waters this
time!'
'Yes...?'
'I've had all my little helpers out and boy have they been useful. By the way,
have you put weight on? Your trousers seem to be,' Jim sighed with pleasure,
'tight in all the right places.'
Sherlock stopped short.
'And what have your little helpers found?'
'My little helpers have been telling me you and your boyfriend have been
frequenting The Nag's Head.'
'So...?'
'So...' Jim mimicked again.
'And what sort of deranged conclusion have you reached about our activities?'
'Well...' Jim sat down by the fire and began stoking it gently with the poker.
'We both know what happens there with teenage boys, Sherlock darling.'
There was silence apart from Sherlock's breathing. Our eyes met. I felt my cock
stir as he clenched his eyes shut and turned away.
He lent fowards against the desk and I knew he was hard. I ignored my erection
and tried to placate Jim.
'The Nag's head is just a gay pub. Nothing happens there, apart from in your
sordid imagination.'
'Oh doesn't it? Perhaps you'd better ask Sherlock about that. Although of
course, if you know the newspaper version of him you'd never think it for a
minute. Innocent eyes seeking justice. Beautiful soft curls.'
'Just what exactly are you trying to say, Jim?'
'Ohh, so naive. I know why he loves to fuck you!'
'Jim.' I stood up. 'Get out!' I gestured towards the door. 'GET OUT NOW before
I...'
'Oh dear, have I caused a lover's tiff?'
I lost my temper then. I went towards him with my fists clenched but Jim had
sprung up too quickly, swearing and crying, 'no...no'. Not thinking straight I
ran full pelt down the stairs.
I looked towards the end of Baker Street and I could see him sprinting away in
his trainers. How badly I wanted to thump his face!
I felt tears pricking my eyes. I was pumped full of adrenaline when I needed to
calmly ask Sherlock about the revelations.
I walked back up to the flat with a feeling of dread. I didn't feel like
receiving shock news about Sherlock. Not now. Not ever. He had become a
stranger to me once more.
'What was that about?' I asked more bluntly than I had intended.
'A cruel wind up. Ignore him.'
'It turned you on.'
'Sorry?'
'When Jim was talking about teenage boys.'
'So what?'
'You mean you fancy young boys?'
'Occasionally, yes. If you must know. It depends on appearance. Intellect.
Character. Eagerness!'
'So you've been up to something in that pub? How does Jim know about it?'
I could feel myself descending into an infinite black hole of irritation. The
feeling was common during conversations with Sherlock Holmes.
'I don't know what he knows. Do you know what he knows?'
'No.'
'No. Well. He could know nothing.'
I gave up at this point. I was smiling at Sherlock. He was gazing adoringly at
me and I felt I could investigate no further.
'He doesn't wind me up as much as you do.' I pinched his bum and walked
abruptly to the kitchen.
'John!' I sat down at the table. 'Remember your manners!' He shouted after me.
'All these men sexually harassing me!' I heard him say as he opened today's
Times.
I felt bolder for being around the corner from Sherlock then. I couldn't see
his face.
'So you've slept with one of these teenage intellectuals then...In The Nag's
Head?'
'John! It's none of your business.'
'It is my business when Moriarty embarrasses me by knowing more about you than
I do.'
I heard him close the paper.
I was worried he would shut off abruptly into one of his many silent moods
where he would blank me for hours and sometimes days, but he didn't.
He changed the subject.
There was a knock at the door soon after and we became business partners once
more.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sherlock and John take a taxi ride with a mysterious driver and make
     their own entertainment.
'Are you going to tell me what happens in The Nag's Head, then?'
I knew I was labouring the point but I wanted to wind Sherlock up.
We were in the back of a cab making its way towards Westminster in lunchtime
traffic. Sherlock hadn't told me why but I had assumed it was related to the
latest case.
'I am allowed to have secrets, John. Especially if they will be explained at
some point in the near future.'
He continued looking out of the window but then turned to look at me. He
brushed my lips with his, lent back and told me to be patient. He turned away
again but I placed my hand over his gently. I squeezed his fingers and the
familiar electrical jolt surged through my groin awakening my cock.
Sherlock looked round again, this time grinning.
'By the way, I know what you're really after...'
This time his kiss was so passionate and deep I lost myself in his mouth. My
tongue took on a life of its own and his hot breath aroused me even more. We
kissed for quite a while until I moved Sherlock's hand to the large tent in my
trousers. He pulled away and straightened out his jacket.
'Taxi, John. Taxi.'
My cock was so hard I had lost the ability to think. I pulled my trousers and
underwear down over my cock and stared at Sherlock with a pleading look on my
face. It had been a long time. A whole week in fact.
He looked at me sideways on and I could see he was aroused enough not to care.
He bent down slowly and took most of my cock in his mouth. A deep groan escaped
from my lips. I looked at the back of the cabby's head and prayed for him to
look in the rear view mirror but he didn't. He carried on stopping and starting
the vehicle.
I pushed his head down further, caressing his beautiful wild curls until he
deep throated me. I tried not to make too much noise as he stroked my balls but
as he sped up with his mouth I was heading for an almighty orgasm.
'Ohfuck ohfuck ohfuck,' I whispered.
Sherlock swallowed the pre cum hungrily until I was racked with waves of
pleasure so strong I had to fight hard to be quiet. I shot huge wads of cum
down his throat making him moan with pleasure as he gulped my load.
He lifted his head from my cock and wiped his mouth looking deep into my eyes.
'That's why you've been nagging me. You dirty boy,' Sherlock's eyes beamed.
'Will you stop digging now?'
I pulled my trousers and underwear back up and straightened my shirt. I cleared
my throat and felt myself blush.
'Sherlock, does it ever cross your mind that I might be concerned for your
safety?'
'Nonsense. A convenient excuse to display possessive jealousy.'
'And that I might have developed feelings for you that aren't sexual?' I asked
loudly.
The cabby's head moved to the mirror slightly.
'That was purely motivated by arousal.'
'Yes, the blow job was, I admit that...'
Sherlock raised his hand as if to order me to stop talking.
We had arrived at the Houses of Parliament and I suddenly felt rather
overwhelmed and small.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     John goes to see his therapist.
'So how are things for you, John?'
'Not too bad. We've been busy on a case which is a emotionally distressing for
me...largely because it doesn't seem to be for Sherlock!'
'This is your...partner?'
I looked up at him and sighed.
'My kind-of boyfriend, yeah.'
'Are you able to tell me why it has distressed you?'
A week after we had visited parliament I was sitting in my therapy session.
Sam was a little older than me and extremely experienced, having practiced for
twenty years both in the NHS and in his new private practice.
'Sometimes Sherlock shuts off from me and I'm left to try and work out what the
facts of the case are.'
'You feel he cuts you out emotionally?'
'Yeah. All of a sudden he doesn't tell me anything but wants me around and gets
irritated when I don't know what's happening.'
'I notice you avoided my question.'
'Shit. Sorry. Did I?'
'How is the case distressing you?'
I was silent. I couldn't put it into words but I knew what was coming and I was
frightened it would rip me apart.
'Erm...I've learnt something about Sherlock.'
My nervous tick of stroking the back of my neck kicked in and I blushed.
Sam waited in silence.
'I can't deal with it. I didn't realise he was like that. I thought he was...'
I couldn't control the sobs. They appeared suddenly and violently and for a
period of five minutes all I could do was pull tissues from a box. I felt so
lonely and abandoned. I'm sure Sam would have loved to hear those thoughts and
analyse my feelings but I couldn't voice them.
'Sometimes all my patients want is the space to sit and be emotional with the
support of another person. This is your time. Don't rush anything, John.'
I took a couple of deep breaths.
'Sherlock is attracted to children.' I blurted it out quickly then shut my eyes
against the horrific reality of the words floating in the air.
'Have you found some evidence of this?'
'No. Someone has told me. I asked him and he said he fancied young men.'
'Young men? Children?'
'Under the age of consent. So children, yes. Illegal.' I muttered.
Sam lent back in his chair and joined his hands together in a thoughtful pose.
'He fancies them but has there been any actual abuse, John?'
'I have no idea.'
'This troubles and upsets you. Were you taken advantage of in childhood at
all?'
'A few times, yes. I think I see sex as attention seeking. It's like my
security action plan when I don't feel loved.'
'That's very common in survivors of abuse. Is Sherlock very dominant in your
relationship?'
'Well...yeah he cooks and pays the bills. I suppose I kind of rely on him for
money and company.'
'John, sometimes men who appear to be father figures are actually the complete
opposite. They are looking to hold power over someone less able or confident
than they are.'
'Yeah...yeah I know. Sherlock isn't like that. He wouldn't do that. He likes to
take care of me.'
'Do you trust him?'
'Yeah...yeah I do.'
'But you are having doubts over his ability to be faithful or have consensual
sex if he does stray?'
I sighed. I was confused. I loved Sherlock but he was being a complete cock
lately. I wondered if my emotional baggage was causing it.
'I guess I don't trust him. I don't feel he loves me. The sex is the best I've
ever had. I'm addicted to that. But it's hollow.'
'Have you been on any dates since moving in with Sherlock, John?'
'It's funny you should say that. I was just updating my profile on fruits.com
last night.'
'Maybe have a night out with someone new. Have some fun. Be in the moment.'
'Yeah...yeah. You're right. I'll do that.'
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sherlock and John receive a message.
'Sherlock, what the fuck is this?'
I held a CD in my hands which I had taken out of a jiffy bag. It was lying in
the hallway when I returned. It had been hand delivered and had 'PLAY ME'
written on it in black felt tip.
'Where's Mrs Hudson? She normally brings up packages?'
'I dunno. I could be wrong but I'm not getting good vibes from this
particular...gift.'
'What's on the envelope?'
'It just says JOHN.'
'Right. Do we play or bin it?'
'In view of recent events I think we need to play the game.'
I walked towards Sherlock's desktop and pushed the CD in.
'I must say this is very 2004. Who inserts things these days?!' I joked.
I clicked autoplay and a video began.
I froze.
I heard moans above a motor. It took me a while to realise it was Sherlock
moaning and there were two men in the back of a taxi engaged in oral sex.
Me. Sherlock. Us.
'Do you wanna tell me what's going on?' I could feel my body tense up with
fear. Someone else had seen this. How many others?
'John...I have no idea. Obviously there must have been a hidden camera. Do
taxis have CCTV these days? I suppose everywhere does. Shit.'
He paced the room.
'Secret packages sent anonymously. Mind games. This is Moriarty I'm sure of
it.'
'How the hell has Moriarty managed to get this footage?' I shouted, amazed at
how calm Sherlock was.
'Oh I'm sure Jim has his sources like I have mine!'
'So who else has seen this? It could be on the Internet for all we know.'
I thought I saw Sherlock smile and then I felt really angry.
'I'm glad you think it's funny.'
'John it's just a blow job. No one's interested. Jim is really fucking with
your mind and you need to wise up my boy.'
'Google 'Sherlock sex tape'.'
Sherlock sighed. 'Alright...alright.'
He sat down at his computer and typed it into the search box.
'How many results?' My heart raced and my cock stirred, half thrilled, half
frightened.
'2695.' Sherlock's face dropped.
'Oh jesus. Oh jesus. Fucking hell. I'm gonna die.'
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     John makes a decision.
'I'm joking, John.'
I stared at him in disbelief.
'There are no results. A couple of articles speculating about our
business...arrangements. Nothing else.'
'Sherlock...' I could feel my rage mounting.
'Sorry, John. Are you alright? You've gone red in the face?'
He stood up from his computer. Just the right height for my fist.
Thump!
'John!'
I raised my finger to point at him and he flinched as if I would hit him once
more.
'Don't you dare do that to me ever again! Jesus! You don't have to see the same
people day in day out like me.'
'It's only Monday's to Wednesday's. You'd cope.'
'You don't give a flying fuck about me at the moment. I know you're fucking
Jim. I'm not stupid.' I shouted so loudly Sherlock stepped back and held his
hands up. He had never done that before.
'John. You need to calm down. Seriously.'
'Yeah? I need to calm down, do I? I wish I'd never met you.'
Sherlock made a strange noise.
'Shit. OK. That hurts.'
He realised what he'd said and rubbed his jaw as if it were physical pain but I
knew I was getting to him.
'You haven't been paying me any attention lately.'
'I have! You mean sex...?' He smiled.
I gulped. I knew what was coming and I had to get away from him before I ended
up on my back moaning.
'No! That route is not available to you at this moment in time. Use your
fucking hand. Or Jim.'
I was so angry I went to the bedroom and started to pack some of my clothes
into a suitcase. Jackets, shirts, ties...I started to cry.
'You're a mean bastard, Sherlock, and I have had enough.' I muttered to myself
as I packed.
I caught sight of Sherlock in the door frame trying hard to look sexy. He'd
refreshed his hair and his eyes flared as we glanced at each other.
'I can see you're upset.' His voice was deep and unsteady.
'John. Please don't do this. Not again.'
'Well they say it takes a few times to leave permanently.'
'Jim means nothing. It's just...sex. I can't stand the sight of him. He bullies
me.'
'So you have been fucking him?'
I was holding a copy of Attitude that I hadn't read and I was so tempted to
knock his smug head off with it.
'John...you're so young...there's so much you don't understand about life.'
'You were my first Sherlock. You ARE my first. I don't know any different to
you. I don't know any other sex. I don't know if I'm gay or bisexual. All I do
know is I have to get away from you right now otherwise I might just...' I
breathed out and carried on packing.
'I'll be so lonely without you. Please please please don't leave. Where will
you stay? Who will look after you?'
I gave Sherlock a dirty look and stormed out of the flat slamming the heavy
door loudly.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     John starts an adventure.
My iPhone bleeped:
You'll come back u always do
It bleeped again:
U left your coat you'll be cold
It bleeped again:
Where r u?
And then, finally, it lit up. I had put it on silent at that point:
I've topped our account up with 20k. More if needed. Just say the word xx
That made me close my eyes with pleasure. It was closely followed with a
realisation that I could easily be tracked if I used my card. I felt a fog of
gloom descend.
I had managed to find a room in a youth hostel. It was strangely quiet and I
felt tense wondering if I might soon have company. It was the weekend so I
heard evidence of nightlife outside the hostel. I wanted badly to be outside
but I had nowhere to go. No money. No family.
I turned over in bed, curled up and began to masturbate slowly thinking it
would aid sleep. It took me back to the days before I lived with Sherlock and
our sexting. Studying for my A levels in Electricity, Chemistry and Biology, as
it were.
I smiled to myself as the fond memories raced through my head. If only that
year could have lasted with Sherlock making me the centre of his world for an
eternity.
I had picked up my phone and browsed some gay porn to speed up the process when
the dormitory door opened.
'Hi,' I called to my fellow visitor.
'Oh, hi. I didn't wake you up, did I?'
I got out of my bunk to face her. She was an odd looking girl, hauling a giant
camping rucksack. She was wearing skinny jeans, a beautiful Scandinavian style
jumper and some expensive-looking boots. Her face was flawless and she had the
most exquisite black curly hair.
'I'm Lottie.'
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     John and Lottie have a moment.
I wasn't a straight virgin but I had very limited experience with the fairer
sex. There was Kate. I dated her for six months.
Lottie was an easy lay. She was on the rebound from her girlfriend who she had
argued with...like me.
We started chatting. I could feel she was getting hot after she shared a bottle
of plonk with me and a spark of electricity was flying so I made my move and
kissed her.
She returned my affection for her with a full on session.
I soon had her bra off and I couldn't stop running my hands over her soft skin
and pushing her tits together. She was so beautiful I couldn't believe my luck.
I had a feeling she wouldn't give me head so I decided to take the lead and be
generous in the hope of a grateful favour.
I lent down after removing her clothes and pulling her knees apart gently.
'Ahhh...yes...'
I kissed the insides of her legs while I fingered her clit.
She opened her legs wider and whispered 'inside...please.'
I gently slid one of my fingers inside her soft pussy which was already slick
and then joined it with two others. The feeling of softness overwhelmed me. I
shut my eyes with pleasure and felt my cock harden considerably as Lottie
purred.
I lifted my head up from her legs to her clit and licked her slowly, circling
my tongue gently then licking her bud slightly harder, varying the pressure and
speed while I plunged my fingers in and out of her.
'Oooh shit you're good!' Her moans were so deep and guttural they vibrated
through her.
I smiled to myself as I sucked her harder then flicked my tongue repeatedly
against her clit.
My cock was throbbing so hard at that point but I was lost in her increasingly
wet pussy.
I shifted onto my back and prompted her to turn over and go all fours so I
could lick up inside her. She happily obliged.
She lowered her pussy down onto my mouth and pushed gently until my tongue
played the game and went fully inside her.
She hadn't expected that. She moaned deeply. She sounded as if she were about
to lose consciousness and I knew I was doing it right.
I reached up and rubbed her clit gently while I tongue fucked her pussy as
deeply as I could.
She began to rock slightly on my face but as I moaned with pleasure and she
noticed my throbbing erection she pushed down harder and properly fucked my
tongue.
'Ooooh I'm going to cum so hard. Ahh fuck, ahhh fuck.'
She was of the apparently rare girls who ejaculates so I was sprayed with cum
on my face which I enjoyed immensely.
'You got any condoms? I really need to be inside you so bad. Like five minutes
ago!' I laughed, praying she would magically produce some.
She did.
I rolled a ribbed condom on eagerly and she returned to all fours.
'From behind?' I asked. I was wondering how long I would manage to last.
She looked round at me and groaned yes.
The pleasure of sliding into her pussy was like falling into blistering heaven.
Straight away she bucked back against me taking me fully inside her.
She was off! She bucked back again and I could hear her pussy was thoroughly
wet. I added some deep thrust and she was purring again as we fucked
forcefully. I couldn't resist reaching round and rubbing her bud again as I
thrust particularly deeply inside her. I added speed to the mix and she started
swearing calling me a mad bastard!
Aren't girls strange?
I pulled her arms back to lift her up slightly and fucked harder and faster.
She started to scream a little and I lost my breath. She bucked back against my
thrusts and I knew it wouldn't be long.
'I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum until it runs down your legs, you fucking...' and
then it hit me. The strongest orgasm. I felt myself cumming deeply inside her
pussy in such powerful waves it took my breath away and I was demolished.
'Ahhh, Lottie.'
We were just settling down after I had tied a knot in the condom and thrown it
overboard when I heard someone come in.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     What a revelation!
The door crashed open and I heard someone flick the light switch without
success.
'John?' I heard Sherlock say quietly.
Lottie had disappeared out of the bunk bed and I was hoping she would hide
underneath another.
'John? You're in very great danger. Answer me.'
My stomach clenched. Would he find Lottie and how would I explain the condom in
full view of Sherlock?
'John. Lottie has been sent to kill you. Stay where you are.'
The words stuck in the air and I couldn't move. What kind of game was he
playing now?
I heard the sound of bare feet across the floor and my heart flew with fear.
Sherlock fished his phone out of his pocket and used his torch app. We could
see each other but Lottie was invisible.
I could see he had his gun cocked and I knew it was all real.
He crept round the room turning all the bedside lamps on.
I felt a wave of protective love for Sherlock and a huge pang of guilt.
'Don't move!' I heard Sherlock shout and I knew he'd found her.
I stood up and saw she had hidden between two beds. She looked scared but I was
shocked to see she was pointing a gun back at Sherlock.
'What the fuck is going on?' I shouted.
Sherlock glanced at me and his eyes moved to my cock for a milisecond before he
turned back to Lottie.
'I've been keeping tabs on you John...and it's just as well.'
'I'm sorry?' I felt my anger rise.
'Charlotte Willoughby. 21 years of age. Hairdresser. Lottie 678 on Tinder.
Likes oral and S&M. Always the last to leave a party.' Sherlock's voice was
deep and full of emotion.
'How the fuck did you know that? You know nothing about Tinder?'
'Oh. Don't I, 'takeitlikeaman 69'?' Sherlock glanced at me with his eyes
flashing. 'Take off your Sherlock wig, Lottie.'
Her Sherlock wig?
Much to my surprise she reached up and pulled her black curls off to reveal a
mass of beautiful blonde straight locks.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     More revelations...and a bacon roll!
'John, meet Jim's...girlfriend.'
I stared open mouthed at Lottie as these revelations greeted my ears and eyes
one after another.
'Girlfriend?'
'She works in parliament, don't you Charlotte?'
So far Lottie hadn't said a word. She was staring at Sherlock and hadn't met my
eyes once.
'Jesus! No! Not for a bloody MP?'
Lottie snarled at me.
'For Lord Carshalton. She's the granddaughter of Sir Perigren Wolfmeiser.'
Sherlock informed me.
'Oh my god!' I was robbed of breath at this news.
'Charlotte, listen to me. Listen carefully because I will say it only once.
OK?' Sherlock said quietly.
She nodded.
'We can both leave this room alive. I won't tell Jim about us and you'll keep
quiet about the various addictions we share.'
'Us'? What did he mean?
'You're a beautiful girl. You deserve a good life. You know you'll suffer if
you kill us. Jim won't care.'
She slowly put her gun down. She looked very worried.
'If you ever need any help...if you leave Jim...I'll be there for you.'
'He bullies me...brainwashes me. I can't think my own thoughts. He's so
powerful.'
'Don't I know it,' Sherlock whispered to himself.
'Give your gun to me.'
She reluctantly slid it across the floor. He kicked it outside the room through
the open door.
'Come on, John. Let's get out of here.'
Once we were outside the youth hostel I hesitated, not wanting to go back to
Baker Street with him.
'Woah! What just happened there? I think we need to talk!'
'Why?'
'Jesus, Sherlock!'
I took the lead and walked down the road towards a cafe that would be serving
an early breakfast. The road was quiet apart from an early jogger.
I ordered a bacon roll and a cup of tea. Sherlock wanted a black coffee and
toast with jam.
We both sat down and I felt nervous. This was the first time we had sat in a
cafe for a long time. He tended to communicate his few feelings of emotion to
me while face to face.
I had so many questions I didn't know where to start.
We ate in silence.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Another session with Sam...
It was a grey day. The rain was pattering softly onto the conservatory of Sam's
house. I couldn't remember how many therapy sessions I'd had but it ceased
being awkward around this point and I felt we had built a strong bond.
'Do you mind if we focus on your childhood today, John?'
'No. No, go ahead. It might take a few sessions.'
'I've got two hours free if we need them.'
'Oh, OK.'
There was a long silence after this and I took a sip of my Earl Grey tea.
'Did you want me to start...or are you going to prompt?' I asked.
'Would that make it easier?'
'I dunno. I suppose so, yes.'
'OK. Remind me how old you were when you were first adopted?'
'Oh wow. Erm...about six I think. Yeah.'
'What do you remember about it?'
'Nothing much actually.'
'New school? Brothers or sisters? New bedroom? Toys? No memories of anything at
all?'
'I remember the school obviously but the house...no I just can't remember.'
'You don't remember the fire?'
'I'm afraid I don't...no.'
He wrote several things down on his notepad at this point.
'From what point in your childhood do you have memories, John?'
'I remember the care home.'
'How old were you then?'
'Eight. I was eight. A new school again.'
'Your strongest memories are always of school?'
I nodded. I had a flashback to the care home and its cheap veneer furniture.
The punch mark on the door and wardrobe they said would get fixed but never
did. The view out of the window of the local park. Drug deals by night and five
a side by day.
'Did you make friends in the home?'
'Yeah I was mates with a girl called Paula. I told her everything.'
'Was that your only friend? Any male friends?'
'Not really. I never played football.'
Sam wrote some more and I finished my cup of tea. I looked round the
conservatory and noted all the suave furnishings and the wooden futon bed.
I looked back again to catch Sam looking at me.
'Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?'
'Yeah, yeah. I'll stay in the youth hostel. It'll be fine. Think I'll book a
single room tonight though.'
'Did you ever run away?'
I looked down and wanted another cup of tea to distract me.
'Yeah. I did once or twice.'
'So things weren't pleasant?'
'No. There was a lot of bullying and drinking when I reached secondary school.
I used to steal money and catch the train to get away.'
'Can you tell me where you went?'
'I was so desperate to meet some other gay guys and just get away...'
'Where did you go, John?'
I sobbed quietly.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sam delves deeper.
I shifted uneasily in my seat. It suddenly felt too hard and uncomfortable.
'I came to London. I was...oooh...thirteen I think.' I took a gulp of air and
steadied myself. Sam pushed the box of tissues towards me.
'That's young to fend for yourself. Even for one night.'
'Yeah. Yeah, it is. I was sleeping rough but occasionally this van would come
round with religious people in it and they'd give us soup. Nice guys.'
'Do you think this has set up a pattern for you? Of running away and not caring
where you end up?'
'Probably, yeah. I mean I really don't care sometimes.'
'Living on your charm basically. Seeing what turns up?'
'Yeah.'
'Being passive and hoping others will run your life for you?'
This jolted me. I looked up.
'Are you saying I'm playing a victim?'
'No. No, that's not what I'm saying at all.'
I took a deep breath. I really needed another tea.
'So is this when you met Sherlock?'
'Jesus! That's a bit blunt.'
I squeezed my eyes shut and when I opened them Sam was looking concerned.
'Would you like another cup of tea? We can come back to this if you like?'
Sam got up, taking my mug with him. I followed him to the kitchen and smiled
when he got the biscuit tin out for me. There was shortbread, chocolate
fingers, jammy dodgers and wafers. I picked a finger and munched hungrily.
'Are you eating OK?'
'Yeah. I missed dinner last night though!'
'Would you like some lunch later?' Sam asked me. I couldn't believe he was
being so pally with me after questioning me so forcefully and professionally.
'Here?'
'Where else would it be?' He turned round and smiled broadly at me. He stirred
our cups of tea.
'Oh, erm, I dunno. Here's fine.'
'My wife is a lecturer at the local college. She's due back at about 4.'
Why was he telling me about his wife?
We walked back to the conservatory without saying anything and drank our tea.
Sam switched the radio on and I munched on my fingers.
'Police say a body has been found in a basement flat in London. The body is
believed to be of a young male and the death is being treated as suspicious.
The police would like to speak to anyone in the Baker Street area of London
between the hours of 1am and 6am this morning. Now here with the weather is
Tom. How are things looking, Tom?'
'Well...it's a bit of a mixed bag today Sue...'
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     John suffers a fright...
I stared at the radio for a couple of moments until Sam asked me if I was OK.
I mumbled something about seeing him soon and walked out of his house.
I texted Sherlock 'R U OK?' then hailed a taxi.
'No. Mayhem. Come quickly. S xx'
The traffic was so bad it was faster to run the final ten minutes of the
journey.
I got to the front door and it felt as if I were a complete stranger. I
hesitated before I went in. I felt watched. I turned around and saw a flash of
black near a car. As I walked closer I saw another flash.
Inspector Greg Lestrade!
'Greg...why are you hiding from me?'
'I'm not hiding from you...I'm hiding from...'
I turned and saw what he was looking at. One of his colleagues.
'Hello Mr Watson. Lestrade. I hear we have a body.' Sally Donovan spoke very
loudly as she always did.
'Yeah. I heard...' I started.
'Sherlock wanted some time alone with it so I came out for some fresh air.'
Lestrade hurriedly mumbled.
'What do we know so far?' I asked.
'Male. 13-16. No fixed abode...'
'How do you know that?' I asked.
'Sherlock told me. He's seen him...around.' Lestrade gave me a meaningful look.
It took a while but I knew to shut up.
'Evidence of drug use within the past couple of days and of forced sexual
activity. Blindfolded and gagged...'
'So how has he ended up in our basement flat?'
'It's a warning to Sherlock. He's getting too close on his case. You know about
The Nag's Head, I'm assuming?'
'Yeah...yeah. We keep getting distracted from it though.'
'You will do. These things are normally left alone. You'll upset a lot of
powerful people. Including one called Jim.'
'Yeah I know. We have to investigate if someone tips us off with child abuse.
Anyway, I need to speak to Sherlock.'
Crossing the road away from Sally and Greg I entered the basement flat
forcefully.
'Sherlock?' I shouted.
There was no answer so I walked into the sitting room. Apart from a mirror
there was nothing in it. The soft white curtains were billowing out in the
breeze.
I turned on my heels and walked to the bathroom. I saw a bare leg poking across
the bathroom entrance. My eye followed it expecting to see a torso attached.
There was no torso.
'Sherlock?' I shouted again. This time my voice shook with slight fear.
'In here, John.'
It sounded as if he was in the bathroom but I wasn't sure. My heart started to
pound. I wondered why Lestrade had been sent out into the street.
'Sherlock? Where are you? You're scaring me.'
I walked into the bathroom, edging myself bit by bit, until I saw the other
bloodied leg. I gulped.
'Sherlock, I'm scared.'
I wanted him more than ever right then. We were usually really supportive
during cases and I felt alone and vulnerable.
I pushed the door harder and walked fully into the bathroom.
Over the other side was Jim. With a gun. Pointed at Sherlock. Who was also
pointing a gun. At Jim.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     Moriarty gets his way...
'There's a misunderstanding John. He thinks I've murdered this...boy!' Jim
looked at me with pleading eyes.
'Sherlock?'
'You haven't kept your side of our deal. And you tried to have John killed!'
'I would never do that! I wanna...' he took a sharp intake of breath, 'I wanna
see you together.'
I gulped. His eyes wandered in an insane way between us. They bulged ready to
explode out of his head.
'John...'
I looked at Sherlock.
'Will you go upstairs and wait for me?'
'Are you sure you'll be alright?'
He nodded, breathing heavily.
I felt a wave of love for Sherlock. I also felt vulnerable as if Jim had a
piece of his heart. I felt a sudden realisation that Jim was bullying Sherlock
and that he had tricked him into the mind game of having sex with him for case
information.
As I left the flat and climbed the stairs to 221b I heard Sherlock and Jim
shouting very loudly, much more vigorously than they had been doing in front of
me. I caught the words 'three way' and 'John' and I froze.
'I wanna see you together.' That's what Jim had said.
Jim wanted to see me and Sherlock have sex.
I fought for breath. That's why Sherlock had sent me upstairs. And why I had
followed eagerly.
I ran up the stairs, my heart thudding painfully.
The room was a mess of upturned books and newspaper cuttings along with rolled-
up notes, syringes and cigars.
I took a cigar and sniffed it. A Stradavarius. The smell of security. Of
wealth.
I lit it and took a long drag.
I poured myself a whiskey and stood by the window looking down onto Baker
Street where Lestrade and Sally were standing talking on their phones.
The rain began gently at first but became harder and eventually hailstones
soaked the Met police officers making Sally scream.
I took another long drag and was enjoying the aroma and taste when I heard the
door.
I looked up to see Jim walk in quickly with his head turned away from me and go
towards Sherlock's bedroom.
Seconds later Sherlock came in slowly.
'What does Jim have on you?' I asked sharply.
'Oh John...don't be so innocent. You know exactly what's going on. It's been
coming for ages.'
'Has he threatened to split on you?'
'No, John! He wants to watch us fuck!' Sherlock shouted loudly.
'Oh Jesus Christ.'
'The quicker we get this over with the faster he'll leave.'
He stroked my hair and I moaned inside. It felt like it had been years since we
made love.
'I'll do this for you if you promise to explain all of this in explicit detail
to me one day soon.'
He pulled me towards him and the electricity soared inside my arms and stomach.
'You don't get to lecture me about anything, you naughty little boy.' Sherlock
whispered as he kissed my ear then returned to my lips. His kiss was so deep
and powerful I lost myself instantly.
I could feel his slight erection as he pushed me with his body towards his
bedroom as he kissed me.
'Oh god. Oh fuck.'
'Let go, John. Let it happen. Forget about everything. It's just us.'
We were quickly in the corridor leading to the bath and bedrooms with
Sherlock's firm pushing.
Oh god. This was it.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Summary
     Three's a crowd?
I could see some movement and hear some noise out of the corner of my eye but
couldn't directly see Jim. My attention was focused on Sherlock's mouth and his
hands which were pushing my shirt up roughly.
He kissed my neck and I could clearly see Jim sat on the chair. He wasn't
pleasuring himself but was sitting still.
He leant forward onto his knees and watched intently.
Sherlock sat up and rifled through the bedside drawer.
'No,' I whispered.
'Why not?'
'Not right now.'
'Please John...just forget he's here.'
He rummaged again and I felt a surge of panic rise up. Was Sherlock on my side
or had he left me? Did he care more about Jim's pleasure than mine?
'Oh noooo. Sherlock...please.'
He clicked the handcuffs into place so I couldn't move my arms. They were
permanently suspended above my head, connected to the bed.
'It's alright,' he whispered as he unzipped my trousers and pulled them down
slowly while looking deeply into my eyes. My cock stirred. He lent forward and
kissed me deeply, his tongue wild and passionate.
He pulled away and tugged at my pants. I had forgotten I was wearing my Mr
Grumpy pair and Sherlock grinned.
'My favourite pair! This was meant to be!' Sherlock laughed as he pulled them
down to my knees.
I lay my head back on the pillow and let him dominate me. I pulled at the cuffs
as Sherlock teased me by kissing my chest, going down gradually towards my
cock. I wanted to touch myself so badly.
He brushed his tongue inside my belly button. My skin felt amazing to his
touch.
He reached underneath me and pulled my legs up so my butthole came towards him.
The feeling of his tongue just higher than my hole was so amazing. He'd only
recently begun to lick me there and it was delightful. The jolts of white heat
coursed through my body as his tongue edged towards it.
He tickled my hole with his tongue and with my pants still hoisted up in the
air around my knees he slid his tongue into me so deeply it took my breath
away.
'Sherlock's a dirty boy, isn't he John?' I heard Jim's voice low and musky.
I heard him get up and unzip his trousers then and I grew hard at the thought
of him getting involved. I knew I would regret it but now we were all here in
the bedroom together...
I felt him climb on the bed and Sherlock's breath sped up.
I couldn't see what Jim did behind Sherlock but the look of pleasure on
Moriarty's face as he did it and the howl from Sherlock told me he had entered
his arse.
Jim almost stood up over the back of Sherlock and entered him again from above.
This time the bed shook as he began fucking him and Sherlock screamed with
pleasure.
Sherlock's head came up from rimming me and I could see he was in heaven. His
hands rested on my feet for support. I couldn't lift my eyes from his face. I
had never seen him in such a state.
'Ahhh...just there...yesohyes,' Sherlock screamed. It was so loud. I felt he
was on a journey with Jim and I had been left behind. I wasn't as jealous as I
thought I would be, just so blissfully happy watching Sherlock get fucked so
well.
It didn't take long for Sherlock to come with such a force and such a noise I
thought the whole street would hear.
Jim slowed to a stop but didn't pull out. He was out of breath from bucking
Sherlock who was incoherent.
'You've got a dirty boyfriend, John. A really filthy cock-hungry slut.'
'Yeah?' I couldn't believe I was smiling and I felt horny.
'I wanna see you fuck...I wanna see you go full blast, John.'
'Fuck me first,' I dared him. I didn't think he'd be up for it so soon after
Sherlock. I'd forgotten he hadn't actually come yet.
His eyes grew wide as he realised I was telling him what to do. I couldn't
believe my audacity.
He pulled out of Sherlock and climbed round him.
Oh fuck.
He pulled my Mr Men pants off roughly and pushed my legs back against my chest.
Before I could catch my breath he'd entered me and the full enormity of the
situation hit home. I was cuffed and being fucked by Moriarty.
'Such a sweet little boy. Don't tell daddy, now!' He said as his gentle thrusts
became more powerful.
I looked over at Sherlock and there was such a look of stunned fear on his face
it brought me down from my high slightly.
As his thrusts became more powerful I found myself groaning in half pain half
pleasure. I tried to carry on relaxing and enjoying the ride but couldn't stop
the hurt showing.
'Oh shit. Daddy's gonna kill me...he's gonna fucking kill me!' Jim whispered.
The pain-pleasure stopped and Jim came hard inside me.
'Ahhhh shit, fuck, he's gonna cut my heart out!'
Jim squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of orgasm swept over him.
I realised I'd come too but I was in so much pain and pleasure I was in an
altered state.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sherlock...in love?
Sherlock's phone beeped loudly. I looked over at the bedside table. I
recognised the ring tone which Sherlock had assigned to Lestrade.
Jim was still in his semi conscious post orgasm state with his head lolled back
and his eyes closed. He looked as if he would fall asleep any minute.
'Sherlock...' I prompted him to pick the phone up. He reached over and I saw
his face go white.
He mouthed something to me but I never was good at lipreading. He mouthed it
again slowly.
I gulped. Sherlock put his finger to his lips to stop me talking. I wanted it
to be just us in the bedroom and for us to sort out our rows and the case but
Jim has literally come between us and I was starting to resent it.
Sherlock mouthed 'play along' to me after he had sent a text message back to
Lestrade.
'Mmm...you two are having a silent conversation over me and I'm enjoying every
minute.' Jim whispered, his eyes still shut.
'What can it be? What to have for dinner tonight or who's going to put the
washing on? It must be so good being a couple.'
I rolled my eyes and Sherlock smiled.
'Play,' he mouthed at me. His eyes shone brightly and I focused on him instead
of Jim.
I waited for him to take the lead. He gently wiped my stomach with a tissue
then kissed me. He unclicked the handcuffs and moved back to Moriarty.
I sat up rubbing my wrists and watched while Sherlock pushed Jim's arms back
and cuffed them onto the bed. I couldn't believe how pliant Jim was.
'Ooh...daddy's mad. Daddy's getting really mad!' Jim gasped - his cock was
already hard again and I could feel mine stiffening as a result of watching
Sherlock take complete control.
Sherlock reached for his crop underneath the bed and pulled Jim's legs up to
expose his arse.
'This is what happens when you hurt John!'
The lashing which followed was half entertaining, half frightening. Jim's deep
guttural moans were a mixture of arousal tinged with pain.
'Promise me you won't hurt John!'
To my surprise Jim refused to promise, prompting another five minutes of
lashing and growling in pain which ended with Jim screaming and exploding in
thick jets of come.
'Oh god. Please fuck me, daddy.'
I had begun to rub my cock when Sherlock began beating Jim and I was feeling
the first jolt of an orgasm when he brought the crop down on my hands making me
stop rubbing myself.
'No...no!' I gasped feeling the pleasure fall away from me, replaced by a sharp
wasp sting of pain.
'John. Everything you do from now on will be directed by me.'
'Yes, master.'
I remembered these games from a few years ago. I was often sore when sitting
through college lectures.
'Put your blindfold on.'
I found it in the drawer and placed it over my eyes. I could see a sliver of
light at the bottom.
'Pull them down so you can't see.'
I did as I was told.
I thought I would be disciplined but Sherlock kissed me deeply, his tongue
exploring my mouth freely. He ran his fingers through my hair. I shivered. It
was one of the best kisses we've ever had. He massaged by back and tummy and
squeezed my bum. He finished by holding me tightly.
I wondered what had gotten it to him!
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Summary
     An email arrives...
It was inevitable that Moriarty would turn nasty on us, or at least me.
Sherlock held a powerful sexual pull over him but I didn't.
As Sherlock drew away and returned his affections to Jim I felt a rising rage.
I removed the silk blindfold and left the bedroom quietly.
I boiled the kettle and made myself a cup of tea. The rain had stopped and
Sally Donovan had disappeared. Lestrade had unusually sent me a text message.
'Where's Sherlock? He's not responding. L'
I looked outside while thinking what to type.
The closest Lestrade had probably come to a threesome was adding cocoa
sprinkles on top of his cappuccino.
The truth was out of the question.
'In his Palace. Soon. J'
I paced the room as I heard Jim and Sherlock groaning. I felt as if he hadn't
even noticed me feeling down and leaving. I sat down at my computer and opened
our shared inbox.
There was an unread message which had just appeared from the day before. I was
sure I had read them all on my phone but here it was in bold.
I clicked on it and an email full of dense text opened up.
'Dear Mr Holmes,' it began. Everyone always assumed they were writing to him.
'I need to alert you to a crime I have witnessed. It's a crime I don't feel I
can go to the constabulary about. I don't know who I'm dealing with and rather
worry I won't be able to walk freely if I am followed to the police station.
A few nights ago I saw a scene through the gap of a curtain whilst walking past
a pub through its car park. I had had a few beers admittedly.
There was loud music coming from the pub as there was a band playing at the
front. I didn't expect to see anyone in the back room. I haven't ever seen
anyone stay in it. Sometimes people who know the landlord stay there if they
drink too much to drive back home.
Anyway I caught a glimpse of someone briefly and they reminded me of someone
famous. I shan't say who I thought they were at this stage. I can't be sure
because as I said I was a little tipsy and quite tired.'
I rolled my eyes. This wasn't even going to amuse Sherlock never mind entice
him to take the case.
Something caught my eye further down the email.
'There were naked boys there I'm sure of it. Why would I imagine such a thing?
I feel there is something secretive and ritual about it all. I am rather
intimidated and anxious about the whole thing.
I shan't tell you what the naked boys were doing either. I just can't write it.
I need to talk to you.'
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Summary
     John has a moment of anxiety.
'John. You are ridiculous sometimes.'
Sherlock was towelling his hair after coming out from the shower. Jim had left
the flat without speaking to me. Our eyes had met briefly but he had made a
sharp exit.
'I'm not being ridiculous. This sounds genuine.'
'It's a fucking wind up you hopeless wannabe Sherlock.'
'I thought we were going to investigate this child abuse thoroughly? Jesus!
There's a corpse underneath us!'
'A corpse? What are you talking about?'
I stared hard at him.
'Sherlock...?'
'You're not yourself John. We shouldn't do three ways. You can't cope.'
'We both saw a corpse of a young boy. In the ground floor flat. Lestrade and
Donovan were outside.'
'Oh John. Oh...John.'
'Sherlock - if you're playing games this is not, I repeat, not funny.'
A sense of panic was rising in my throat.
Was I hallucinating when I was in the flat with the corpse in the bathroom?
I stood up and paced nervously.
'But I heard it on the radio when I was in therapy...Sherlock? What was that
all about?'
Sherlock looked over at me.
'You heard it on the news? That a body had been found here?'
There was a silence and I realised I had been duped. Duped by Jim. I couldn't
work out how I had seen a bloody corpse and Sherlock hadn't.
I couldn't help myself. I began to cry.
'Sherlock. I don't know what's happening anymore. I feel quite unwell.'
I collapsed and I must have fainted as the next thing I knew Sherlock was
kissing me awake with my legs propped up on the arm of the sofa.
'John. You've been drugged.'
Sherlock tasted his lips. It had not been a romantic kiss.
'Drugged?'
'What were you drinking before you heard about the murder on the radio?'
'My therapist gave me tea. And chocolate fingers. I ate a lot of them. I was
hungry.'
'Oh dear god.'
Sherlock stared at me and I felt fear and terror wash over us. We clung to each
other for quite a while that evening.
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Summary
     Another Sherlock misunderstanding...
'I'm not sure I can do this any more.'
My words were muffled as my head was resting against Sherlock's chest. I had
been listening to his heart thud against my chest.
'Do what?' Sherlock stroked my hair gently.
'Just everything. I can't cope. I'm not like you.'
'In what way? What's the problem?'
I sighed heavily.
'You really don't know?'
'No. Tell me.'
I started to cry again. I was frequently emotional during this case.
'Jim. Is it Jim?'
'I can't do any of this. I can't share you. I don't satisfy you...you don't
love me. I'm sick of not being able to trust people.'
'John. You've been drugged by your therapist, you're bound to feel taken
advantage of.'
'But it's not just him. You take advantage of me too.' I said, my voice getting
louder.
'You're putting me in the same category as someone who spiked your tea?'
'Yes, Sherlock. I'm putting you in the same category as the person who spiked
my tea. You don't give a shit about me.'
'I paid for that therapy.'
'Yeah, you did! Exactly where DID you find him?'
'Oh right. It's like this, is it?
He shook me off him and rose from the sofa. I felt panicked. I didn't want
another row but I couldn't hold back.
'How long have you been fucking him behind my back?'
'Oh for fucks sake!'
I could see his brain whirring away, his eyes sizing up how long it would take
to find his coat and leave the flat.
For once I beat him. I lunged for his copy of the key and locked the door from
the inside.
His eyes flashed with anger. He stared at me and I felt a little frightened.
'Where's Mrs Hudson?'
'She's not in this one.' I smiled, taunting him. I felt my cock throb and
realised I was enjoying the raw power I had over my lover.
'Don't do this, John. Let me go. I let you walk away.'
'Yeah. Except you didn't. You let me go and then stalked me with texts and
bullied me.'
'I saved your fucking life. You know you can't play around on the Internet
screwing strangers. You live with Sherlock Holmes.'
'Oh, do I? I can't screw around but you can?'
'That's totally different. I know Jim thoroughly. I know who I'm playing with.
You play Russian roulette.'
'You think I'm thick as two planks don't you?'
'No, John. I think you're a very angry young man and I understand. I totally
do.'
'You don't love me.'
'You never cared about that before. Why is it suddenly of concern now?'
'I feel as if I'm about to lose you.'
Sherlock sighed.
'So what?'
'So what if I lose you?'
'Yes. So what? Your life would be much simpler.'
'It would be much simpler if you stopped lying to me.'
'Well, sometimes I may have to. I'm a detective. There have been many things
you don't know. This isn't actually the worst.'
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sherlock and John kiss and make up...
Sherlock sank into the sofa after shouting at me and turned towards the back of
it, sprawling clumsily.
I sat on the chair opposite and felt wretched. I couldn't bear the thought of
losing Sherlock. I fancied him so much I wanted to...
I wanted to...
I stood up and crouched down by the sofa. At closer inspection I could see his
back shaking slightly and I realised he was sobbing silently.
I had known Sherlock for quite a while but I had never seen him cry. He would
have died rather than let me see him that way. It was testament to how
stressful the case had become that he was not able to hide himself.
'Sherlock. I know you can't say it back but I really care about you.'
To my surprise he pulled himself up and looked round at me.
Time seemed to slow as he pulled me down towards him and our lips touched. My
hand went towards his hair and his beautiful damp curls. I opened my mouth
wider and my tongue met his.
I climbed on top of him slowly and pushed his arms down onto the sofa above his
head. I kissed him harder, licking his teeth and darting my tongue against his.
'Mmm...so orally fixated...'
I giggled at Sherlock's whispered observation, then took the hint. I pulled his
grey t shirt up and sucked his nipples, quickly moving down his stomach,
stopping at the top of his underwear.
'Ahh...slowly...slowly...'
I rubbed his cock gently through his grey underwear, tracing its outline and
admiring its stiffness.
'Oh, fuck yes. In your mouth...Please. '
I switched to kissing his inner thighs and pulled his underwear as if to remove
it then let it ping back into place.
'Ahh, John. I'm truly sorry for everything...Please, please in your mouth!'
'How sorry are you?' I asked, pulling at his pants again before letting them
ping harder this time.
'I'll tell you everything afterwards...I really will...you'll know why I'm
being weird with you....Please please please!!'
I pulled his pants down roughly and left them halfway down his legs just the
way he liked them. I licked the end of his cock gently. It was semi-erect so I
slid my mouth round it slowly, sucking hard while gradually increasing the
speed.
'Ahh shit, slowly. Slowly...ahh fuck me so slowly.'
He looked down at me and our eyes met. He was so aroused and I felt his cock
grow stiffer.
He lent down and pulled my hand away from his cock. He quickly had both my
hands in his, restraining me. He took control of my mouth and pumped his cock
into it gently.
I knew what he really wanted so I gave it to him. I pushed my mouth right down
to the base of his cock so he was deep inside my throat. Then the deep moaning
began! His cock was fully stiffened and he began to thrust my throat harder and
harder.
With our hands gripped tightly, Sherlock exploded after about a minute of him
accusing me of being a naughty little shit! How dare he!
I swallowed some of his cum but there was so much of it some of it dribbled out
of my mouth onto his stomach.
'Oh god you're a little shit. You fucking deserved that.' Sherlock whispered
pushing his fingers in my mouth in an attempt to make me swallow more. I sucked
his middle finger hard making him squeeze his eyes shut with pleasure.
'I wanted to spank you but I'm fucked.'
I laughed. 'Give it a minute.'
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Summary
     An unexpected visitor finds an open door...
'Molly?' I shouted desperately.
'Oh shit. Oh god. The door. You didn't lock the door. Oh. My. God.'
Sherlock finally stopped spanking me. I was starting to feel raw.
'Oh god.' She covered her mouth with her hands. 'You really are his daddy!'
'Molly! I thought the door was locked. How can it be...?'
I glanced at Sherlock with a feeling of dread. We had been so engrossed in each
other...
'Oh fuck. I should go....' Molly sounded sad and as if she was about to start
weeping.
She opened the door but Sherlock shouted at her to stay. She began to descend
the staircase and Sherlock ran to the door.
'MOLLY! Come back at once!'
He shut the door on me and I heard them converse in the hallway of the house.
At this moment I wanted him to push Molly down the stairs.
I was so close to orgasm I continued to rub my throbbing cock, otherwise I
would have attacked Molly at least verbally.
I came and moaned loudly from the release of what felt like a lifetime of
tension. I watched as my cum exploded into my hand.
'Nice to see you flying solo, John.'
Sherlock grinned at me. He had come back in.
With Molly.
Molly gave me the coldest glare when Sherlock turned away from her.
'Well, if I don't do it...' I said sarcastically.
'Clean yourself up John. Molly has something she needs to tell us.'
'Oh, does she?'
'Molly has been performing an autopsy on a young boy found in an alleyway in
Clapham.'
'Oh yes?' I replied while wiping myself with a man size kleenex.
'He was found next to a pub called The Nags Head.'
I froze. This was a dead body related to our case. And I wasn't high. Not from
drugs anyway.
I got dressed and stood up.
'Would you like a cup of tea, Molly?' I asked.
'No thanks.'
'How about an OJ?'
'No. Thanks.' She glared at me.
'We don't have time for this. Molly needs to tell us more.'
'Well...really...there's not much else...other than...erm...there was evidence
of violent....erm...sexual abuse.' She frowned.
'What else?'
'Lestrade said he was found with...erm...' She went quiet and began to weep.
'What, Molly?' Sherlock asked bluntly.
'Take your time,' I said, glaring at Sherlock.
She sobbed.
'He was found with evidence of castration and...'
We looked at each other. Sherlock was shocked.
'And...It had been pushed into his mouth. Oh god it's so disgusting.'
'It's alright Molly.' Sherlock said bluntly.
I swallowed hard. I could hardly cope with the events of today.
'Lestrade said you might know him. He was homeless and he often saw him begging
outside Clapham Junction.' Molly blurted out quickly in a panic.
***** Chapter 21 *****
Chapter Summary
     A new patient...
It was after the events of the last chapter that everything went dark.
Nothing happened. For 18 months.
I lived alone.
I cannot begin to describe how I spent my days. I worked part-time at the
surgery and that's mostly what I remember about this period. The endless rush
of patients with complex needs whose dire situations would make me realise just
how lucky I was to have my bank account flooded sporadically with large amounts
of cash and to have a nice warm flat all to myself.
One patient I was seeing regularly was 17 and called Sadie. She was bulimic and
unfortunately triggered my own eating disorder from my teenage years. On the
surface I weighed her with a measured cold manner but underneath I was counting
calories and making myself ill after everything I ate.
It came to a point where I needed to pass her over to a therapist after she had
finally achieved the necessary requirements and assessments for psychological
help. During our last appointment for a while, I tried hard not to get
emotional.
"You may never fully recover but I wish you all the best in achieving a state
in which you can live as full a life as possible."
She looked up with tears in her eyes.
"So is this it? No more appointments?"
"Well, I will need to continue monitoring you for a while after therapy but
your therapist will take my monitoring role for the next few months at least."
"Oh. OK."
She left with lowered shoulders and her now baggy jacket pulled over itself at
the front trying to keep warm as she walked out of my overheated office.
"I'll be here just the same Sadie."
She hesitated then slammed the door and I knew she wouldn't come back to me.
I knew because I would have done the same at her age.
***** Chapter 22 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sadie returns...
I didn't see Sadie for quite a while after that until I saw her walking along
Baker Street in tights and a floral dress. She looked very smart and was
holding a very expensive looking handbag.
I did wonder momentarily why she was walking along Baker Street just as I was
returning from work but this thought was quickly forgotten as she approached
and I could see her amazing figure. She took her sunglasses off to talk to me.
"Dr Watson!"
She seemed surprised.
"Sadie. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Really well, now."
"Have you finished your therapy?"
"Erm, yeah...nearly. My diagnosis changed."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I was sectioned six months ago for anorexia."
"God. Christ! Listen, do you want to come up for a cup of tea?"
"Erm, yeah, yeah, okay. Do you live alone?"
"Yes. At the moment I do." I led the way up the stairs of 221 to flat B.
We settled in front of the fireplace. The weather was slowly warming towards
spring and Mrs Hudson had placed some daffodils around the room.
"So you were sectioned...against your will or did you choose to be admitted?"
"Against my will. Initially I asked for help and at first nothing happened but
a couple of months later I was suddenly admitted when I had changed my mind. I
went along thinking I was going to be there for a week just to placate them but
at the end of it I was spoken to and more or less imprisoned. It was quite
terrifying."
"I'm really sorry that happened to you. I've heard from patients it can be most
unsettling especially when the gravity of the illness does not impress itself
fully upon you."
She smiled at me and sipped her tea.
"It still feels amazing to walk freely and organise my own days. My own
shopping especially. I had to order everything online and have someone sit by
me for a whole hour after mealtimes! Such a nightmare."
I eyed her legs again. They were not skeletal but could have some more muscle
on them. She was such a pretty girl. I had not had the pleasure of female
company for quite some time except obviously in my medical work but mostly it
was the wrong side of sixty.
"So...What are you plans?"
" Oh, erm. I was on my way back home." she shifted in her seat and I sensed she
wanted to say something awkward.
"Actually I've been reading your blog..."
"Oh. Really? Stalking?!" I laughed.
She did not laugh but stared dreamily at me.
"Where's Sherlock? Have you split up?"
"Oh!" I was startled by her direct question. It had been ages since anybody had
enquired of his whereabouts.
"Oh. He's abroad on a case. Has been for quite a while." I lied easily.
"Are you still...you know...together?"
"Sadie, these are very personal questions. Are they leading anywhere? Is there
anything we need to say to each other?"
"Erm. No...well I think I'm crushing on you a bit. It always happens with older
men in authority. I hate myself for it. Such a cliche. Do you hate me now?" she
giggled and blushed.
"Look, Sadie, you're a really sweet girl and I'm happy to have a coffee with
you if you want to make a date but you can't stay as my patient. I wouldn't be
happy with that."
"Oh. OK. Just coffee?"
I put my cup of tea down and took a deep breath in. It had been a while since I
made a move on a girl but I sat in front of her on the foot rest and she leant
forward.
"Are you sure you want to date me? Me? Sad, lonely Dr Watson?" I teased her.
"Yeah. It might be fun."
Fun. Not related to a case. I was starting to get excited at the prospect.
I lent forward and kissed her on the lips gently to gauge her reaction. To my
surprise she pulled away sharply.
"Oh. Let's not get carried away!"
Damn! I thought I'd blown it until she stood up and smiled again.
"Can I see you tomorrow? I'm at college briefly in the morning then I've got
all afternoon to chat to you?"
All afternoon? Good grief, what would I do with a college student for that
length of time in public?
"Meet me tomorrow in Starbucks down the road. 1pm. I'll need to eat lunch so
don't eat before."
"OK."
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Summary
     The big date...
It was quarter past one and Sadie was late. I was late myself and had looked
round Starbucks frantically to apologise profusely and to blurt out my excuse
that a phone call about a case had had to be answered.
However in reality I had made myself late by attempting to iron a shirt. I
never ironed. I usually left this task to Mrs Hudson but even she never ironed
this particular shirt. I later realised it was designed to look crumpled and
ironing it made it look very odd indeed. I ended up wearing a work shirt and
work trousers which made me feel as if I was going to surgery on my day off. It
had all made me feel very tense indeed.
Sadie was nowhere to be found. I realised we had not exchanged mobile phone
numbers but I found myself still peering at my iPhone as if it would tell me
the answer to life's most complex questions.
I paced at the front of the cafe trying to imagine why she might be late until
she finally turned up at 1.45pm.
"So sorry! There was a problem on the tube. I forgot to get your number."
I proceeded to give it to her and she 'pranked' me to give me hers.
I watched her eat her lunch after finishing mine. She was taking ages and had
started to pull the last bit of her sandwich apart with her tiny fingers and
was rolling the ham between them in a most grotesque way.
"So, what do you study at college Sadie?"
"Oh, erm. I'm nearly at the end of my A levels. I got good results last year.
I've been studying while at the centre. I'm hoping to go to Cambridge if
they'll let me in!"
"Cambridge? Wow. What grades did you get?"
"I got all A stars so far but I'm worried about my biology exam. It just keeps
getting harder. I'm doing biology, philosophy and maths. I want to study PPE at
Cambridge. Dad says it's the best course."
"Really? What does your dad do?"
"Oh. I don't really know. Something important and well paid. We never really
properly know to be honest."
"Wow. That must be hard for you."
"Yeah, yeah, it's a bit weird but mum seems happy with it."
I watched as she struggled with the last mouthful and heard the loud gulp. She
washed it down with water.
"That's hard too..."
"Yeah. It is sometimes. It's because I'm dehydrated."
I stood up immediately before I was conscious of making a decision and brought
the water jug back to the table.
"Ahh...lovely. Thank you Dr Watson."
"John to you. Shall we go back to mine? I could try and help you with your
biology homework?"
Shit! That sounded like a sexual invitation but it wasn't I was genuinely
interested.
She blushed and I knew I had blown it. What an idiot!
"Yeah..." she said, "that would be really helpful."
***** Chapter 24 *****
Chapter Summary
     A bump to the head
"Sherlock!"
I tried to focus. I took a breath in and his body blurred into two black and
blue shapes.
"Sherlock? Why am I in Peru?"
I fought hard but my words slurred into each other. My tongue was a lead weight
and I was worn out after the sentence.
"You're not in Peru! I'm in London, John!"
"Shit. I'm in Peru."
"John. Stop it. Just lie back. You're in St Barts. You were drugged and knocked
unconscious."
"Sherlock...daddy I missed you!" I managed to slur.
"John!"
I noticed something move and I slowly moved my head to the left. Sitting in a
chair by a wardrobe was Sadie, looking embarrassed.
"What...happ...?"
"John, you were attacked. You were out walking with Sadie. I can't tell you
more than that at this current time. Now lie back you fucking tit of an idiot."
I looked back at Sherlock. I hadn't seen him for 18 months and now he was here
by my bedside.
He took pity on me and kissed me softly on my forehead.
"I've taken care of everything. Your nurse is male and looks just like me. Feel
free, John. Feel free! Sadie will bring you tea!"
He turned on his heels with a flourish of his hand and shut the door behind
him.
"John. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the guy coming."
"How long have you had to put up with Sherlock? What happened?"
"We were walking back from Starbucks a couple of days ago. Someone came out of
nowhere as we turned into 221 Baker Street. He smothered your face with a cloth
then punched you...the fumes made me really sick but I managed to call an
ambulance."
"Christ. Are you feeling OK now?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I've been so worried about you. I've just been sat here
talking to you. Then Sherlock arrived. I think he thought I had just been a
witness at first."
"He's a knob. Sorry on behalf of him."
"Does this mean you're still together?"
"Sadie. Not now, please. I feel like shit."
She looked forlorn.
"Sherlock's been abroad working on a case. Nothing else has changed between
us."
"I'll get you a cup of tea."
She left and shut the door. Almost immediately a nurse came in. He was indeed
just like Sherlock in appearance but I felt no attraction towards him. It was
not just his curls or eyes that attracted me but his intelligence, wit and cold
warmth that simultaneously infuriated and enamoured me. No one else could match
that.
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